Loco dolenti – the painful place…
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Have you ever felt as if you could not locate your pain?
Is it in your body, in your mind, in your heart, in your soul?
Is it from yesterday, of today, for tomorrow?
Is it yours or comes through someone else?
We are all looking for places to put our pain.
There are some pains we cannot locate, we cannot define, we cannot explain, but we simply can talk about and it is already so redeeming.
Let us talk about pain, about sadness, about depression and anxiety.
Maybe it gets easier for you and for me.
First, sadness is not depression
Sadness is a NORMAL emotional and mental reaction to frustration and it happens as a positive signal in your psyche CALLING FOR CHANGE.
You may be frustrated either because you created too much expectation about some situation or someone, out of the possibilities or probabilities of reality, and things did not happen as you wanted or needed.
You may also be frustrated because your objective reality suffered some sort of deterioration, aggravation or loss and you have to deal with it.
IT IS NORMAL TO BE SAD
Some days of mourning, introspection, reflection and reduction of your daily rhythm may be necessary to evaluate the circumstances, to cry out grief, to find solutions, to make different plans, to learn, to ask for help, to adapt, to prepare for change.
This period of mourning varies from person to person and depends on the depth of your affective loss.
NORMALLY it has a causation, a beginning and an end or conclusion, bringing renewal through learning, adaptation, healing, awareness, and you become someone wiser, more confident and stronger after it.
It represents a turning point, a transition and A PATH TO GROWTH.
You do not need to escape from sadness; you do not need to hide your sadness; it is not shameful nor condemnable.
IT IS NORMAL, and it represents your necessity, your search and your path on becoming a better human being.
The more you deny it, hide it or try to escape from or numb it, the more it becomes deep and unapproachable.
So, it is necessary to give yourself permission to live YOUR SADNESS, YOUR MOURNING, WITHOUT SHAME OR GUILT.
You don’t have to pretend to be well if you are not; and you do not need to be well unconditionally.
SADNESS IS A NORMAL transient state of the psyche CALLING FOR CHANGE.
On “depressive” state of mind
This approach is a brief report of my clinical observation of patients, not excludent and not definitive. It has many nuances, it has a variety of expressions and the name “depression” in itself is a generalization for the laic reader.
It is only an scope, it is an approach
So, what is called “depression” can be characterized by a PROLONGED, CHRONIC OR DISPROPORTIONATE STATE OF EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL SUFFERING WITH REPERCUSSION TO THE PERSONAL, PRODUCTIVE AND SOCIAL LIFE OF THE INDIVIDUAL.
It may affect either the intellect and the COGNITIVE or MENTAL functions,
as well as THE EMOTIONS and MOOD VARIATIONS
Also THE AFFECTION and SOCIAL INTERACTION
And even THE ORGANIC FUNCTIONS and THE CORPORAL EXPRESSION or PHYSICAL APTITUDE.
At the moment it cannot be contextualized, it cannot be time limited and it has no natural resolution leading to amelioration, change or growth, then it is not “NORMAL” anymore
In the sense that this individual is ill and needs orientation and effective support for healing or management of the problem.
NORMALLY the process of “depression” behaves like a growing SNOWBALL and its very beginning can oftenly be found in early childhood.
We are all born endowed with particular characteristics, potential skills and peculiarities.
The development of this rich, unique set of qualities would enable us to achieve fulfillment as human beings, walking freely as complete individuals, confident and self-sufficient, radiating presence, discovering paths, conquering our space, carrying out our mission, and being able to face frustration, loss or the necessity of adaptation and change without great impairment for our personal, productive or social life.
Nevertheless, our development in childhood is hardly allowed or encouraged in its full potential and expression.
NORMALLY, a series of cultural patterns, social demands, religious traditions, familiar expectations and individual prejudices from our parents, educators and social environment make us abdicate from our precious individuality and capabilities to submit to the established standards and requirements.
This deviation or distortion from who we already are, from who we are supposed or destined to be
TO what is expected from us, TO what we are forced to become, generates an important derrangement of our psyches making us feel not good, not sufficient enough, not flexible and not able to adapt or to deal with frustration.
IT’S OBSERVED THAT CHILDREN WHO SUFFER EMOTIONAL TRAUMAS, THAT ARE EXPOSED TO ABUSIVE SITUATIONS, THAT ARE MENTALLY OR EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED, WHO DO NOT RECEIVE SUPPORT OR AFFECTION FOR THEIR DEVELOPMENT OR EVEN THE ONES WHO LIVE IN AN ENVIRONMENT OF EXTREME POVERTY OR LACK,
THESE CHILDREN BECOME ADULTS WITH VERY LOW TOLERANCE TO FRUSTRATION AND NO ABILITY TO OVERCOME OBSTACLES OR TO ADAPT TO CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES.
At first it was thought that this lack of malleability, or this humor instability was exclusively a psychological pattern, later it was discovered that these traumas and restrictions also generated a chemical dysfunction to the nervous system, with a chain reaction to all the homeostasis of the organism.
So more than trying to locate the dysfunction if it’s psychological or neurochemical, PROBABLY IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO FRAGMENT THE INDIVIDUAL, THAT MUST BE SEEN IN HIS TOTALITY
IT IS A PATTERN OF REACTION
These individuals HAVE DIFFICULTY IN TOLERATING FRUSTRATION, IN ACCEPTING DENIAL, IN OVERCOMING LOSS, IN FACING CHALLENGES, IN DEALING WITH THE UNDESIGNED, THE UNPREDICTABLE AND IN ADAPTING TO CHANGE.
What do they do?
The old modus operandi of the species BUT IN A DISPROPORTIONATE WAY
TO FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT extreme mode.
They may FIGHT and overreact WITH ANXIETY, MANIA, OBSESSION, PANIC, INSOMNIA, INTOLERANCE, AGRESSION, VIOLENCE, SELF-INJURY, NEUROVEGETATIVE SYMPTOMS, COLLAPSE…
They may FLIGHT meaning ESCAPE OR HIDE IN MELANCHOLIA, DEPRESSION, SECLUSION, NEGLECT OF PERSONAL HYGIENE AND CARE, ABANDON OF WORK OR FAMILY, HYPERSOMNIA, SELF-INJURY…
IN GENERAL, THESE EXTREME REACTIONS ALTERNATE IN WHAT IS CALLED BIPOLARITY OR BIPOLAR DISORDER
SO, THERE ARE PHASES THE INDIVIDUAL IS MANIAC
THERE ARE PHASES THE INDIVIDUAL IS DEPRESSIVE
AND THIS EMOTIONAL, AFFECTIVE AND MOOD INSTABILITY IS A GREAT PROBLEM FOR HIS/HER EVERYDAY LIFE, WORK AND SOCIAL INTERACTION.
Nowadays it is hard to say that someone has only depression or only anxiety, because as a matter of fact these states of mind alternate in basically all patients affected.
I am not going to enter in details about treatment, healing and therapy, because it varies to the infinite and it depends so much on the patient and his family’s choices or preferences.
But fact is that this EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL SUFFERING I am talking about MUST BE LOOKED, MUST BE CARED.
NOT ONLY BY THE HEALTH PROFESSIONALS, CLOSE RELATIVES, OR FAMILY BUT BY THE COMMUNITY.
THE COMMUNITY MUST BE MORE INFORMED AND AWARE ABOUT IT AND LEARN TO RECOGNIZE, TO IDENTIFY THIS SUFFERING IN ORDER TO HELP, IN ORDER TO SUPPORT, IN ORDER TO BE EMPATHIC AND MINIMIZE ITS HARMFULLNESS FOR THE INDIVIDUAL AND THE SURROUNDINGS.
WHENEVER YOU FEEL HOPELESS
JUST THINK THAT THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE
WHO HAS LESS THAN YOU,
WHO FACES A BIGGER PROBLEM THAN YOURS
AND IS STILL ABLE TO SMILE AND TO SERVE THE NEXT.
SO, WORKING FOR THE NEXT
HELPING YOUR NEXT
SERVING THE NEXT IS CERTAINLY A HONORABLE AND EFFECTIVE RELIEF FOR ALL HOPELESSNESS.
Sometimes, when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.
The awesome drawings that made of this message a visual journey of meaning belong to the Japanese artist アボガド6 – Avogado6
I am immensely grateful for your talent and sensibility.