Red poppy – by Mandy Disher
ON ADDICTION or reflections on what takes us away from ourselves
I would like to make some considerations on addiction, any kind of addiction, including hallucinogens, psychedelics, benzodiazepines, pain killers, alcohol, tobacco, sugar, compulsive sex, gambling, etc…
WHAT ADDICTION IS?
The compulsive need and use of a habit-forming substance or vicious behavior, which leads to physiological tolerance and imbalance, psychological dependence, and frequently social dysfunction.
WHAT ADDICTION DOES?
It deflects the attention from your emotional or physical pain, it relieves temporarily your frustrations, it covers up lacks, it gives you a sense of having superpowers or living in a state of dreams whenever you feel miserable and helpless.
We all acquire addictive and self destructive behaviors and vicious patterns in life, so this text is not about drugs, BUT ON WHATEVER THAT TAKES US AWAY FROM OURSELVES.
These addictive substances and vices deviate your attention and generally alter your perception. Like light changing its angle of reflection when passing through water, the perception of your eyes, senses and the signal transduction through your nervous system change under their effect.
YOU HAVE THE SENSE OF LOSING CONTROL AND DISCONNECTING.
TAKE THESE WORDS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, LOSING CONTROL AND DISCONNECTING.
Whichever emotional or physical pain we may feel comes from our attachment to the past and our fears for the future.
Invariably we are locked in a cage of past traumas, hurtful patterns and lack of love and comprehension to the development of our authentic abilities and self confidence.
The future is frightening because it brings exactly the almighty possibility of repeating the non solved past.
The vicious circle of mourning and anxiety drains our courage, our creativity, focus, work capacity and even the purest expression of love. We are eatten alive and disabled to follow along.
The journey of looking to ourselves to effectively notice, accept, understand and deconstruct these traumas and hurtful patterns is also very painful, prolonged, hard-working. We are not used to work on ourselves and on the benefit of our true selves.
We demand being productive, successful and accepted in a society which values exactly what does not bring self fulfillment.
Like hungry zombies, we swap one suffering for another.
We make ourselves captive of substances and vices which deviate our attention from our true necessities; which give us the fake sense of relaxation and calmness in the middle of the storm, of losing control over ourselves and others; which falsely empower us with braveness and self confidence to face the unknown future and the new challenges.
AND EVERYTHING REALLY SEEMS EASIER OR BRIGHTER UNDER THIS EFFECT
We look more tolerant, we apparently become more tolerant. We seem cooler, more permissive, less worried, less concerned, less controlling.
We temporarily forget our self criticism, afflictions, frustrations, our lack of love and self confidence, our fears and need of control.
WE LOOK HAPPIER
What a cool guy I am; what a nice girl I am.
NO MORE SELF CRITICAL; NO MORE FEARFUL; NO MORE CONTROLLING; NO MORE MOODY; MUCH LESS HURTFUL AND SENSITIVE.
But this is who you really are?
I ask you : is this who you really are?
Let us make a trial
No drugs, no weed, no alcohol, no tobacco, no sugar, no games and social media or sex addiction for one week, one month, three months.
Your life seems ended. You gonna face the hell and all your inner demons.
THAT’S WHO YOU REALLY ARE:
SELF CRITICAL; OVER CRITICAL ON OTHERS; FEARFUL; CONTROLLING; MOODY; HURTFUL AND SENSITIVE; INTOLERANT; IMPATIENT; ANXIOUS.
When deprived of any kind of drugs, alcohol, tobacco, white sugar, psychological vices, FOR THE FIRST TIME WE FACE OURSELVES WE ARE HONEST WITH THE WORLD.
AND SINCE WE HAVE NO WAY TO SCAPE, AND NO WAY TO LOOK OR BECOME COOLER TO THE WORLD, WE ARE OBLIGED TO EVOLVE.
TO BECOME BETTER HUMAN BEINGS
TO DEVELOP REAL CALMNESS, PATIENCE, RELAXATION, UNDERSTANDING, SELF-ESTEEM, SELF KNOWLEDGE AND SELF ACCEPTANCE, DETACHMENT, FLEXIBILITY, HUMBLENESS, LOVE.
This text is not an apology for no drugs, an exhortation to be clean of vices; it would be too pretentious, IT IS SIMPLY A SELF KNOWLEDGE WARNING.
Whenever you are under the effect of these substances or under the cover of any vice that takes you away from yourself; REMEMBER WHO YOU REALLY ARE WITHOUT THEM.
TRY TO STAY SOME TIME WITHOUT THEM.
TO NOTICE, TO REALIZE WHAT YOU REALLY NEED TO DEVELOP AS A HUMAN BEING.
This is enough for the first step; this is excellent in itself.
YOU CAN TRAIN YOURSELF TO BE PRESENT AND CONNECTED, IN AN OPEN, HONEST, INTIMATE RELATION WITH YOURSELF.
THAT IS HOW YOU BECOME LOVING, OPEN, TRULY CONNECTED AND PRESENT WITH OTHERS, WITH NATURE, WITH LIFE, AS A FREE MAN, AS A FREE WOMAN.